Daydreams

simple truths.

for so long i had let her words
roll off my back

a sentence of pure love
followed by judging words

silence was the best policy
i couldn't get hurt that way
just let her ramble and she'll
simmer down

but the words heated up
i had to state the simple truths
as i saw them, of course

my truths, not hers
my pain, not hers

she listened, but i suppose
never really heard me

it's always been like that
why i've kept things to myself

never sharing the true details
the bad, the ugly, the real feelings

my simple truths have been said
now they belong to the universe

i want them to float away
i know she never really heard me

at least i'm free of them now
they exist out there for
anyone to hear

anyone but her

ROCK BOTTOM.
...coming up for air - finally!
...feeling like I've been drowning at the bottom of a rocky well
...realizing the inner artist is clawing her way back
...feeling like i've put aside the personal passions to make sure i was doing a great job at the paying job
...thinking the item above isn't worth putting above all else
...realizing i haven't been truly "present" anywhere but the paying job for a long, long time
...glad to be clawing my way back to whatever my reality was before i started looking the other direction
...bummed that I'm not at spring Squam Art Workshops
...even more bummed that i can't attend fall Squam this year either

BUT...
...happy that i signed up for Kelly Rae's "taking flight" online ecourse. loving it so far and it's only the first week!
...thrilled winter is behind us and i've been working off some of the effects of a sugar addiction by working in the garden
...looking forward to my daughter's high school graduation in a couple of weeks
.
And thrilled to be reconnecting with my thoughts here in this space, even though no one may actually be reading! That's OK (for now). Definitely clawing my way back from rock bottom.