change.
i spent the better part of sunday getting my daughter (otherwise known in these parts as "the cheerleader") ready for college. my first child off to college in just a few days. it's a very surreal feeling - i'm going through the motions, looking at the suitcases, the bedding, the supplies and thinking "where did the time go? how did we get to this point--18 years flew by!" I worry: did i teach her everything she needs to know to stay safe, make good decisions, date supportive/loving young men, make her way in the world, be a good person, and on and on...
there were a few good laughs yesterday as we sorted through clothing - like when i realized that she has a shoe collection to rival Imelda Marcos! like when she declared that taking every single article of clothing she owns (or just about) will ensure she has "plenty of options" even if she only wears 1/3 of them!
i smile thinking back to when my parents dropped me off at college; far enough away from home to experience that rush that comes with suddenly feeling free, independent, yet close enough that i could get home in a few hours if needed. i still recall saying goodbye to mom and dad only to be out in town shopping for dorm room decor with a new friend 30 minutes later (note: apparently mom didn't share the jubilation as she recounts that she cried for a good while afterwards). i know my daughter will experience something similiar...but how will i feel? how will having her gone change the dynamics at home? will i think of her every day, multiple times a day? will she call or text to say hi or only when she needs something?
yes, the winds of change are in motion. today change feels like i'm on a beach with the summer sun glaring down on me. a cool breeze tickles my skin over and over again. i want to stay warm in the rays of the sun, but the breeze continues reminding me that it's there, always in motion, moving me forwards and backwards, side to side, but always moving. always considering the next direction. sometimes strong, sometimes merely a whisper. but almost always there.
i spent the better part of sunday getting my daughter (otherwise known in these parts as "the cheerleader") ready for college. my first child off to college in just a few days. it's a very surreal feeling - i'm going through the motions, looking at the suitcases, the bedding, the supplies and thinking "where did the time go? how did we get to this point--18 years flew by!" I worry: did i teach her everything she needs to know to stay safe, make good decisions, date supportive/loving young men, make her way in the world, be a good person, and on and on...
there were a few good laughs yesterday as we sorted through clothing - like when i realized that she has a shoe collection to rival Imelda Marcos! like when she declared that taking every single article of clothing she owns (or just about) will ensure she has "plenty of options" even if she only wears 1/3 of them!
i smile thinking back to when my parents dropped me off at college; far enough away from home to experience that rush that comes with suddenly feeling free, independent, yet close enough that i could get home in a few hours if needed. i still recall saying goodbye to mom and dad only to be out in town shopping for dorm room decor with a new friend 30 minutes later (note: apparently mom didn't share the jubilation as she recounts that she cried for a good while afterwards). i know my daughter will experience something similiar...but how will i feel? how will having her gone change the dynamics at home? will i think of her every day, multiple times a day? will she call or text to say hi or only when she needs something?
yes, the winds of change are in motion. today change feels like i'm on a beach with the summer sun glaring down on me. a cool breeze tickles my skin over and over again. i want to stay warm in the rays of the sun, but the breeze continues reminding me that it's there, always in motion, moving me forwards and backwards, side to side, but always moving. always considering the next direction. sometimes strong, sometimes merely a whisper. but almost always there.